EDITORS NOTE: MAY
This is coming in a little late. But you see, I had to take some time to reboot. My 33rd birthday was on May 4th (aka Star Wars day) and I NEEDED a vacation. A few days to press pause on the influx of emails, the non-stop text messages, and the plethora of to do lists. I am the most busy and booked I’ve been in my life, and while I am so happy that this is happening I also know that my mind and spirit have been on an on-going chess match for my attention. I’ve been talking/writing to you all about this, and how desperately I have been trying to realign myself and find balance between me, my relationship, my job, and theGIRLMOB. Like Shonda Rhimes said in her book, Year of Yes (free pdf):
“…as a very successful woman, a single mother of three, who constantly gets asked the question “How do you do it all?” For once I am going to answer that question with 100 percent honesty here for you now. Because it’s just us. Because it’s our fireside chat. Because somebody has to tell you the truth. Shonda, how do you do it all? The answer is this: I don’t. Whenever you see me somewhere succeeding in one area of my life, that almost certainly means that I am failing in another area of my life.”
And while I don’t have children (I already know the priority list will have them at the top), I do know that feeling of attempting to juggle so much at all times and understanding that inevitably one of those bowling pins is falling on the ground. So while I’d like to sit here and say I am not going to juggle anymore, the truth is that if I stopped doing all the things I loved I’d be pretty miserable. So what I am doing instead, is asking for more help and also putting down the pins more often to take breaks. Even if that means “missing out” on a few opportunities. A reminder that my wins will still come, and that there is also power in saying no.
I enjoyed the beach, the sun, the smell of salty water. I enjoyed the fried fish and tostones. I enjoyed the salsa dancing with the viejos in the street. I enjoyed the laughter with my friends who joined me. It was just what the spirit needed, and I now know that more breaks will be a must. So if you have the space to take more Friday’s off and therefor longer weekends, do it. Grab the metro-north upstate and enjoy the trees and the sun hitting your skin. This year I want to feel closer to God. I care about where my spirit is, and getting closer to my authentic self. A self that is just as outspoken in her personal life as she is at the office. A self that is okay with being messy and that understands that a mood will pass. A self that remembers that she is not alone. None of us are.
I’m so grateful for all the ups and downs of my 32nd year, as always hindsight is 20/20. I went through a lot of mental/emotional tests and i can see the light above the well. I haven’t climbed out yet, but I am trying, one climb at at time. So, this is me telling you to watch your breath, believe in your pace, and be forgiving when the pins fall, you’re human and nobody is that great of juggler.
