SKYPE DATE GONE WRONG
I met, let’s call him Ben, on Hinge. We started talking pre-pandemic, about two weeks before.We’d chat casually and I liked that he was older than the men I typically spoke to. I’m in my late 20s and thought he was maybe in his mid 30s which I found attractive being that I never dated anyone over 31. I thought to myself maybe this was time to stop dating fuckboys and explore the more mature specimen.
After Covid-19 fully made its way to NYC, I was let go from my office management position at the production company I was working for. They figured that they would no longer need my role given the fact they weren’t seeing the use of clients coming in, managing the space or even needing an office as necessary until the foreseeable future. I shared this transition in my life with Ben and the anxieties of the collapse of my usual day to day routine. Our conversations went from casual to more serious affairs given the pandemic. Our professional careers overlapped in similarities, both of us working in the production industry.
We started asking each other about what work from home would be like to then the concerns over what the world was beginning to look like— apocalyptic.
As I started to adjust and fill my time with painting, learning to ride a bike (which I still have to finish), watching t.v. And arguing neighbors over their noise, I tried to reset my life. I knew I would need to create a new set of what felt normal and stable for me and this included dating with a few adjustments. There was no longer the train ride to that loud bar where I could then decide whether to take a cab home at the end of the night.
The venue options ranged from FaceTime, skype, or zoom.
We both set up the date via Skype on a Thursday night in the evening. Prepping for the date involved cleaning my room and dressing up enough to where it wouldn’t look too intense for a video call. I wore a black dress, straightened and curled my hair and put on eyeliner. We both had our drinks in hand and started with regular conversation. It lasted three hours and revolved around movies, our careers and the eternal doom we felt given the state of the world. At the end of the date I felt intrigued but had my doubts about where this could really lead to.
For our second date, he mentioned he would like to see a movie and he leaned towards films from the silent era. These films tend to be incredibly long, slow paced, and like I said, SILENT. Although we shared interests in the history of cinema, I felt his suggestions were lackluster and stank of pretension. I enjoy the richness of cinema and its history just as much as I enjoy 90 Day Fiance. I decided to compromise with a cinematic classic; Citizen Kane.
As we watched the movie, he continued to ask me a bunch of questions while simultaneously pointing out symbols and metaphors. He started quieting down during the last act of the film. At the hour and fortify five minute mark I realized he was sound asleep. I had no idea what to do.
How do you wake up your date from their nap, especially through a screen? I started clapping my hands screaming “Hey!” To no avail. After about twenty minutes of self-reflection and second hand embarrassment I decided to log off. Ben texted me half an hour later, not with an apology but a winking emoji. At that point I stopped pursuing this failed date.
For four months neither of us reached out. He broke the silence, to my shock and mentioned he wanted to see me but in person this time. After saying this, I thought to myself— what the hell?
Covid had taken away the normal way in which we allow pheromones, ambience, touch and overall essence of a person play into our dislike or allure towards them.
We met up at an outdoor bar, had a few drinks and dinner and decided to go back to mine. I saw no harm in fooling around before the second wave of the pandemic hit NYC. Ending the night we both agreed it had been a nice time and would like to see each other again. Since then, a month has gone by and no word from Ben so far, but that seems to be his M.O. At the end of the day despite all the weirdness, the story gives me a good laugh and I didn't mind the mild distraction from the default setting of panic from COVID. I wasn’t looking for love through these dates, I was looking to enjoy myself and provide some sort of social stimulation that the pandemic had robbed us of.
Drop a comment and tell us how you’re getting through these COVID dating adjustments!
