SELF-REFLECTING AS THE WORLD BURNS
At a time when all of America, for once, seemed to be going through the same catastrophic event (aka a rapidly spiraling pandemic and a government administration unwilling to take any real action to mitigate the damage), I felt alone in my experiences navigating the collective new normal. It felt unusual and embarrassing, often leading me to hide my genuine feelings about isolation.
Unlike the rest of the world, I felt comfortable and confident in my ability to make it through an extended quarantine. Was something wrong with me? Were we not all reading the same COVID-19 news updates? Why did I feel such peace in a time of unprecedented instability? These are all questions I asked myself out of curiosity more than concern. I wasn’t surprised by my calmness but rather taken aback that no one else was calm too.
With my notoriously talkative nature and intensely extroverted demeanor, the ease with which I transitioned into isolation should have shocked me. I should have been slipping further and further into an anxious, depressive, all-around not great abyss with each passing day of the pandemic.
What I hadn’t realized until after the first weeks of my alone time was just how much my daily wellness practices had been keeping me sane since day one of the pandemic. While my neighbors panicked in the toilet paper aisle and doom-scrolled on Instagram, I stretched peacefully into Downward Dog or lay snuggled up with my most recent book purchase.
In this way, COVID-19 signaled a return to the most unwavering, salient parts of myself. I no longer felt pressure to meet the highest expectations of every part of me -- the coworker, the best friend, the sister,daughter, or the trusted confidant.
Instead, I solely leaned into the very core of who I know myself to be: the seeker of internal peace and lover of nature. It served as a reminder not only of what matters to me, but that those seemingly insignificant things are actually what keep me going. My unrelenting commitment to self-care hasn’t just been a convenient excuse to indulge in expensive face masks. It’s been the foundation of my mental health, saving me during a time when I’d otherwise be all but circling the drain.
