Oh Look! It's Your Period

If you're one of 3.4 billion women on this planet, sooner or later your period is coming. For those foolish enough to cross us during the battle between the walls of our vaginas, the emotional (and potentially physical) abuse we inflict could be relationship and/or life threatening. So, here’s a simple guide to keep you from killing your bae.

1. It’s Coming and You Know It, So Plan Ahead

You already know you’re a hateful, evil witch the 7 th through the 13 th of every month, so prep your Bae. Let him know you’re going to be extra sensitive to bullshit this week and a few days prior. Then, if he decides to hit that slick talk, bitching is justifiable. And, if need a little help keeping up with your flow, you can download a menstrual calendar app, like Menstrual Calendar or Period Calendar/Tracker to keep up to date.

2. Don’t Get Pain-gry

Periods hurt like hell. You’d rather squat in a Coachella port-a- potty for 10 minutes than have cramps for 10 seconds, but don’t let your struggling womb get the best of you. While it may feel like your insensitive #MCM deserves to lose an eye (1738), he needs it see how beautiful you are. So, do you both a favor and take your meds. Check with your doctor to help choose the right pain reliever and dosage for you.

3. Check Yo-Self

Like Drake, periods can send our emotions running 0-100 real quick. We gotta at least try to think before we act so we don’t scare, hurt or run Bae over. Would you be mad about his indiscretion next week? Probably not. So, count to ten, take a deep breath and calmly share your feelings. If he says some mess like, “You must be on your period”, I think a firm string of profanities is justifiable.

4. Too Late…I Already Went Off

As long as you haven’t resulted to violence, you can probably come back from this. Put your pride to the side and apologize. I know you don’t want to, but you’ll feel worse knowing you caused the break-up by not being in control of your emotions. Plus, you love him and he’s cute when he’s angry. Depending on the severity of your blow up, you may need to throw in some favors to help rebuild his ego. You know what he likes, get creative.

5. Period Don’t Stop Nothing But A Sentence

Let’s be real…desire doesn't die just because Aunt Flow is sleeping in the guest room. Don’t let nature stop nature, y'all. It is okay to have sex on your period. If you’re scared your bedroom will end up looking like a Law and Order SVU crime scene, just put a towel down and make it do what it do. If you're still tripping take it to the shower and get clean while you’re getting dirty. Hopefully these hints help you and your Bae make it through this month’s menstruation because if you can make it through that you can make it through anything.

Hopefully these hints help you and your Bae make it through this month’s menstruation because if you can make it through that you can make it through anything.

:) KB

{image cred: tumblr - haimiami}