A PAUSE FROM THE TIMELINE
Happy New Year, Happy Lunar New Year, Happy Black History Month and Happy Valentines Day! Did I cover everything? Alright, let’s go!
I’m sure y’all might have noticed I’ve been missing for a while but for those who did not — I took a break from theGirlMOB for a year. During this year ‘off’ I have been learning the ins and outs of all things Sales while I have settled into my new role as a Sales Dev Rep for my wonderful company. On February 1st I celebrated my year anniversary here and in true form, Divine Timing connected me back to my TGM tribe and here I am — ready to share everything I have learned, the few things I didn’t and the many questions still floating around in my brain.
2018 was really a year of detox for me. I know that so many of us go through these same exact cycles and cleanses, but 2018 truly taught me what to bring with me and what needed to stay behind as I welcomed a new chapter in my life— and I wanted to share it with you all.
Detox, in all forms, is something that I champion — I am a true Scorpio in the sense that when I’m done with something I am 3,000% done with it and completely purge it from my life. My social media presence was definitely something that took a backseat during this detox year and on a few occasions, it came dangerously close to being thrown completely out of the door from the moving vehicle that is my evolving life.
If you follow me on Twitter (or did) you already knowwww they gave your girl the boot back in October! I think they had finally had enough with my hot-takes and arguments with the Trump Trolls or maybe it was when I found pleasure in attacking misogynists and played the game of ‘Who is the Bigger Asshole’‚— and you know what? I’m glad they put their foot down because I was on a downward spiral and on my way into branding myself as the opposite of who I am and not as someone I can be proud of.
Someone at the Twitter HQ perceived my content to be so hateful that it was in violation of their terms of service and if there is anything I am not — it’s a hateful person. I pride myself in being a manifestation of Love and never want a stranger to come to that conclusion ever ever everrrr again. So I’m finna act right from now on. And if y’all are in the business of taking advice? Be kind on social media, as kind as you possibly can before you end up like moi.
I think something beautiful happens when we can account for our mistakes and apologize. So MOB, I am sorry for sharing content that might have been triggering, filled with anger or out of alignment with your peace. I damn sure learned my lesson and it has helped me to mind my words while still sharing my TRUTH.
But let’s talk about this Twitter sentence they handed me…
The first few hours off of Twitter were a little jarring because as strange as it sounds, I had nobody to talk to — the TL was with me everywhere I went! Something like Twitter provides a sense of comfort for people like me who have something to say about everything. It makes it seem like there’s an audience for every type of conversation we’re trying to have and that’s not all the way true. Once I settled into the comfort of not seeing clickbait every time I scrolled through my timeline and once I started to relish the peace I had now that I didn't feel the need to argue with someones stank-booty, grown ass son every 2 days — I started to feel left out of the pop-culture loop and didn’t understand the memes or the jokes — I was CONFUSED y’all.
I felt like I was one of those FaceBook people who come to you 4 months later with a meme that is dead and gone. You know the one your auntie’s be sending you? Yeah, that was me. Crazy how something as insignificant as social media will have you going through all these different motions once removed from your life.
And then I saw where the real detriment was. I wasn't getting the news. I first felt this during the Kavanaugh hearings and remember being so pissed off at not being able to get news in real time and how hurt I was when I couldn't offer Dr. Blasey-Ford emotional support, even if it was in the form of tweets she might never see. As ridiculous as Twitter can get, it truly offers an unbiased and raw look into the most current events and it does it in real time — IF you’re following the right people. So when I wasn't able to contribute to a topic that is so important to me? It really sucked and that’s when I realized that I don’t truly need to engage with everyone, especially people who I don’t enjoy. It’s not my job to argue with the ignorant because the one who suffers is ME. Also, I missed the uproar when the Cheeto-In-Charge served those kids fast food at the White House during the government shutdown. I really wish I was around for that because I had JOKES!
So I guess what I’m trying to say is — please for the sake of your own emotional, mental and sometimes physical health... get off of social media from time to time.
Set aside hours, days or weeks where you aren’t dedicating your energy to scrolling through Twitter or IG for 45 minutes at a time. Maybe y’all are smarter than I am and are using it the right way... who knows! But for those of you who are anything like me — I’m telling you sis, log off every now and then and see how your anxiousness diminishes or your anger is dispelled. Between the incessant Black trauma porn and the absolute horror stories that immigrants are experiencing right now — sometimes the soul needs a break. The Black community and communities of color experience astronomical amounts of PTSD inducing scenarios and seeing them on the TL every single day can be quite draining and make it hard for the most jovial person to remain positive. The problems of the world are REAL and should not be ignored, however, we all need to detach ourselves from this absolute nightmare every once in a blue.
I challenge you to do so.
During my 3 months off Twitter a lot happened. Some things are worth sharing while others are not, no matter how badly I want to vent or ‘teach someone a lesson’. I learned that the only person who would be learning lessons from me was well, myself! I see how my own thoughts become things and how the absence of Twitter has really helping me to think clearly and more objectively about topics I struggle with viewing in an arbitrary manner. And the best thing of all? I learned how to not be reactive and to think CLEARLY and logically before allowing my emotions to speak for me during exchanges that do not require an emotional response.
At the end of my first month off Twitter I created a list of 27 goals to accomplish during my Golden Year (I turned 27 on the 27th of October) and I already managed to scratch off a few within the first 4 months of my Golden Year. This detox period from Twitter was an awakening and now that I’m back — I feel so much freer to express my independent thoughts and opinions because I finally learned how to speak from my Heart and not from the Ego that social media feeds.
Is it ever that deep? It can be if we make it so. I was giving way too much value to the random opinions that floated across my TL. I was reacting to things that were said with the intention of hurting someone or causing outrage. Not having to witness anti-Black hot-takes, race vs ethnicity, misogynoir, festering rape culture and plain old racism and sexism gave me the peace of mind that I am still carrying with me. The lesson was learned and will go with me wherever I occupy space.
I’m grateful for my time off Twitter because it reminded me of something very important — I’m not a Twitter personality but an actual person and I am not the 20K followers I had, my content is great regardless of who is paying attention or how many followers I have. And now that I hve a brand new account and I’m back under 1,000 followers for the first time in 5 years... I even feel a little freer to express myself since my tweets aren't as likely to go viral and be taken out of context or challenged by trolls.
In 2018 I learned the power of Manifestation through my career, the purpose of Intention through the achievement of my personal goals and then came the lesson of Loyalty & Love and how those two are not mutually exclusive. I learned that the hard way — through friendships that had grown toxic. While these 3 things are quite different and show up so differently for each of us and during different eras of our lives — the one common thread in all of these is the Solitude that was required of me. If it wasn’t for my alone time — I doubt that I would have learned what I needed to and I don’t think I’d be on the right path.
So MOB, be sure to take time for YOURSELF. Time away from all stimulus and outside opinions and most of all, a break from social media because life is always sweeter when we’re living in the moment and not paying attention to our phones.
But if you feel the need to scroll through the TL then make sure to leave a testimonial for Vee & I! We are both participating in the search for Sephora Brand Ambassadors through their #SephoraSquad campaign - here’s my link https://www.sephorasquad.com/testimonial/wonderfrankie and here’s Vee’s https://www.sephorasquad.com/testimonial/veesarita <333