grim excitement: meeting the parents

                                                   if one exists

                                                   if one exists


meeting the parents: such a glorious occasion. a telling moment during courtship, and of course a crushing weight created by the anxiety attached to being the picture perfect version of yourself (reaction to the right). 

the tremors of worry created because maybe “you” won’t be enough, or maybe you’ll possibly be too much for this group of onlookers whose sole purpose is to determine if you are befitting of their sibling/child/friend and the potential love and affection they have to give. in other words, meow.


..needless to say shit gets stressful… *deletes life*

overall, i'm usually a pretty composed individual. i'm unmoved by most things and pride myself with having a steady, mellow mood and the safety blanket that is a semblance of self-confidence. but for the first time ever, i was nerve-ridden. asking my friends for advice: what do i wear? how do i wear it? what do i say? how do i say it? can i breath? sigh? smile? frown? my biggest question (which remained unasked) was: how could we show how crazy we are about each other without it coming across as cheesy of some type of way.

the stress and questions were mounting.

i figured i’d cut myself some momentary slack and focus on simpler things, like an outfit. i decided on a nice crisp white button-up and pitch-black jeans to kick off our first familial encounter. now that aesthetics were covered— outfit, hair (as a curly girl i decided early on in life that there’s only so much of my hair’s behavior i can control and have since conceded), and makeup. all that was left: the actual hard stuff. how would i showcase my vibe? how many feels can we show? how do we present said feels? will i get along with his fam? it’s a bit disorienting to step into a situation thinking you know so much about someone (from endless references and conversations with your partner) and then finally being confronted by all the personalities you have been preparing for for weeks.

— sort of like finally meeting someone you’ve web-stalked on instagram for a little over 3 months for the very first time and have to restrain yourself from asking how they liked the Korean BBQ spot they hit up 2 weeks ago. — 

with the big day still currently looming (this coming monday) it’s beginning to consume me. the event has even showed up in my dreams. my subconscious decided i would meet his cousin and sister at a bar; realizing his sister (in this dream) actually turned out to be my sister-in-law, eneida. i chalked it up to me wanting to get along with her the way eneida and I do. natural feels. 

and putting the frosting on the proverbial cake is: this is all happening on his dads birthday. (Reaction here.) so. now. do i bring a gift? is that forward? i want to bring his mom flowers. should i? BLAH. as you can see, the thoughts and questions are endless. But in the end, I think it’s best to leave you with this: even if i show up sans gifts, wearing sweats, with just a smile and glasses on: it will all work out. because in the end, if you two are really compatible and into each other you will win over every family member in the room — pet rock included. 

cheers to that.