BROWN GIRLS NOT WELCOMED
So as much as I'd like to have hope for my white millennial counterparts in this generation, I've been sadly disappointed time and time again. Disclaimer: this isn't a representation of every single white person- I know this to be true. But this is true of a group of white people I interacted with recently in the soccer house of a soccer team that plays for a prestigious Long Island University here in NY.
Me and my girls went out on what should have been to a typical Saturday night college party. The kind that involves beer pong, party anthems and sneakers.
No pressure, just fun. Wrong we were to think that. Instead we ended up being main characters in our version of ‘Get Out’ (if you haven’t watched it yet, please do). Aight y'all, enough with the preface, this is what happened:
We drove for what seemed like forever and a day to find this party. So much so, that we made multiple stops trying to find the correct house. Where’s Waldo HGTV edition. The house we rolled up to was in the boondocks of America. Open fields, crickets in the trees, acorns in the grass. ALL that extra outdoor shit- that most people of color aren't used to. Red Flag #1 for my girls and I.
We find the house, walk up to the door, hear hip hop and see blue lights through the doorway. The people on the front steps were super animated, with beers in hand excited by our presence and waving us inside. Ok, not so bad right? We get inside the function and immediately found ourselves surrounded by the color white. White people, in all white outfits and glow in the dark paint. ‘What in the fuck?’ I thought to myself. Red flag #2. We were already the only girls of color in there, but we really stuck out like sore thumbs because of what our outfits looked like compared to theirs. Ours being of course fly AF: sneakers and cute outfits. I also had a head scarf because #blackgirlmagic.
So we’re hella black with a little ratchet sprinkled on top - aka our usual late night steelo. Anyway, things were cool for about 10 minutes. We even got the DJ to play our current group anthem, ‘bad and booujee’. And then we had to pee. This is when things took a turn (I know there’s already two red flags but bare with me).
Usually the bathrooms are overflowing with drunk girls who befriend you and compliment your hair and makeup. Nope, not at the soccer house. I got neo nazi vibes from a redhead who tried to play me when I asked if the door behind her was the bathroom. This was the convo:
"Hey is this the bathroom?" Shawty didn’t even look in my direction as she says in her very sweet valley high voice, "not really." What the fuckery does ‘not really’ mean? It’s either a bathroom or it isn’t. I took a breath and asked her again. "Is this the bathroom?" She answers me while walking away, back towards me "Yea”.
Simultaneously, the bathroom door opens, my girl goes to pee. Five seconds later, I'm getting pressed by a 5'2 pixie stick brunette. Shawty hits me with the illest deer in headlights look, and asks bluntly; speaking to me with that sweet valley high accent I just finished hearing:
"Hi, I own this house. Who are you?"
GIRL. Since she wasted no time, neither did I.
"What's wrong? Is this an invite only event? " She replied with, "No, but again, who are you? I don't know you. I've never seen you.”
Side note: If this was Thanksgiving dinner and I rolled up to your house and ate your apple pie, then I can understand where the attitude in this scenario was stemming from. But this is a COLLEGE PARTY. Gold ticket not necessary.
I shot back with, "would you like for us to leave? " to which she responded with "of course not, you're already here I'm not going to kick you out. I'm not a dick." Au contraire, you ARE a dick. I could tell that she was shook after realizing I wasn’t with the shits. But it was obvious our presence was a disturbance in her white on white only party.
By the looks of that house, I can draw the conclusion that her interaction with people of color was extremely limited. I was black and I was direct, uninhibited by my awkward ass location or the stupid look she had on her face. Intimidation was not a tactic she was going to pull off on me. Despite her deserving me coming out my face, I tried to be nice (I know, I know); I shook her hand and tried to introduce myself in order to smooth things over. It did nothing. After that, she stood there and stared at me, FOR THE LONGEST TIME. I thought someone at that point was going to come out of one of the rooms with a shotgun and/or white hood and run us off of the property. I saw ‘Get Out’ the day before, so my senses were already on high alert.
I was not gonna have us wait to get got.
As soon as my girl got out of the bathroom, we dipped. I'm not going to stay where I'm not welcomed, I've never been that pressed for a party. Especially when my spidey senses are telling me my exit awaits.
So we get in the car and drive off. But as I'm looking at the rear view I can't help but notice the stark difference in her approach. If I was dressed in all white with sour cream complected skin, I highly doubt that she would've pressed me in the way that she did, clearly trying to make me uncomfortable. I was angry at first, but ultimately felt disappointed. That was a blatant act of prejudice, as I was the one singled out from the crowd of drunken white kids. Something that I hadn't experienced with someone my own age in a very long time. I was taken aback.
As much hope as people like to say they have for our millennial generation, you have to remember that the revolutionary 18-25 demographic wasn't raised by themselves or without influence. The antiquated thoughts and principles still carry through to the next generation. That evening served as a reminder of that. If someone chooses to stray away from the ignorance that they were taught, then I applaud them. The fact that my friends and I had that interaction further proves that people make the conscientious decision to be ignorant and hateful. Because they can. This girl knew where she was, and we as women of color just trying to enjoy a regular degular Saturday night didn’t have the luxury of showing our ass, not when there’s a possibility of landing on the nightly news or becoming another hashtag on social media. In a city like NYC where our bubble allows us to be around ‘other’ 24/7 it was something else to be the minority. White young adults that come here for school have a real opportunity to step out of their bubbles from the suburbs of CT and Vermont and learn something by simply being around ‘other’. If you have a roommate, who is white, share this story with them. Maybe they’ll intervene when they see one of their friends scaring away the diversity in the room.
So MOB, all I have left to say is stay woke. Adventure awaits, just not in the boonies.