Roommate Chronicles: Meet Cardi

Being young and living in NYC with no roommates is making an agreement with yourself to be broke. I'd love to save a couple hundred bucks a month. Share some food. Share a bill. But then I think back to senior year of college and I realize I'd rather struggle.

My BestFriend and I moved into a 4-bedroom apartment during our last year of undergrad. We knew we'd be paired with two random roommates, but didn't worry too much because we had each other. And that’s where we fucked up.

The first day in the apartment we met Cardi*. She was short, blond and her cheeks were almost always red. She was pleasant and gave off chill hippie vibes. Homegirl literally bathed in patchouli oil and she rarely wore shoes, but she was nice enough.

If you haven't gathered this already, Cardi is white. The other two roommates and I are black. Cardi really wanted to be “down” so she kept offering to do our hair. In all fairness, she was in beauty school, but she was starting her second year of a one-year program after getting suspended for never showing up. Plus, in my experience people of color generally understand how best to manipulate my hair so no way in hell was I about to let Cardi anywhere near my scalp.

We decided to use our other friend, Bre* as a guinea pig.

Cardi set up a makeshift salon in our kitchen and got to work. She washed and conditioned Bre’s hair (so-far-so good), but then she tried to blow dry it with a round brush and the room started to smoke up... Bre’s hair turned wild and nest-like. I could tell she was worried, but she let Cardi keep going.

Cardi proceeded to go in with a flat iron and hairspray trying to fix what she messed up, but Bre’s hair was beyond salvaging at that point. It was a big, brown, stiff ass orb that was bumped at the ends. I felt soooo bad, but I was just glad it wasn't me.

To make matters worse, Cardi expected to be paid $15 for her work. We collectively cussed her out for even asking and she had no choice but to concede.


Find out what other crazy shit Cardi does in Part 2 of the Roommate Chronicles next Tuesday.

Spoiler Alert: Cardi’s Mama is with the shits.

*Names have been changed to protect the identities of each person. 


{image cred: tumblr - nolunar}